Couple's Pre-marital Counseling Letter
November 3, 2007
Through the past six pre-marital counseling sessions with Karen Uhler at the Peacemaker Center in Downingtown
we have grown to gain a more in-depth understanding of marriage.
For a truly successful marriage God needs to be the priority and we need to pray and read the Bible together
regularly. God chose us as Christians to live with him as the center of our relationship. In allow God to lead us we
are to:
- Be accountable for our decisions and actions
- Represent Christ, put others first
- Check with other Godly people when we need reassurance
As a result of these pre-marital counseling sessions with Karen Uhler, we are learning to walk closer to Jesus in our
relationship. As a couple we are not equipped to handle all the problems we face, but God is, and that walking with
Jesus doesn’t depend on our legs, it depends on our heart.
Karen has helped us in gaining a better understanding of the importance and how to handle:
Communication - The goal to effective communication is to be a good listener.
Needs/Expectations - We are to put God first, then "us" in our lives and our decisions.
Leading - The wife is to trust God through her husband. The wife is to let the husband lead, wife is to release and
trust God. The relationship/marriage will be safer submitting first to God, than submitting first to the husband.
Living together before marriage - Before making the decision Karen asked that we take time and each of us speak
with mature believers in our lives to get their feedback and views. This was an appreciated exercise that we are
grateful to have been presented. While “other’s assume we are active sexually, God knows the truth. We fear the
Lord and his wrath. We are obedient and wish to glorify only God. We cannot lie to God without his wrath
affecting “us”. We are comfortable with our decision.
Blending of Families - As we grow together we are to develop our own traditions to mesh as one and to make it
“our” own.
Intimacy - Setting boundaries and sticking with them according to God’s will.
Finances - We are to communicate and share each other’s expectations. Keep each other in the know about
expenses. If needed, ask for assistance from a financial advisor.
Two helpful things Karen has restated to us is that:
- We are to challenge each other in the growth process as we unit as one and turn to the Lord for his will and guidance in our decisions.
- We are to pray and read the Bible together daily so that we can learn and grow to better sharpen one another’s swords.
Karen has made a difference in helping us understand spiritually what is needed in going into a marriage. We have
been advised that counseling is recommended the first year of marriage.
We are grateful to have come in contact with Karen and The Peacemaker Center to help us to be comfortable as to
where we are today and in gaining a more in-depth understanding of marriage.
