Married for 35 Years and On the Brink of Divorce

The Peacemaker Center is making a significant difference in our marriage, especially in our communication with each other.

Just a month ago, we were separated and heading toward a support hearing; and very likely, a divorce. We could not have a peaceful conservation on any topic. The main problem during our 35 years of marriage has been in our communication, especially in the area of deciding what should be included in our budget and managing to it. As a result, debt piled up; and our conversations in dealing with reckless spending ended in anger and isolation. As our relationship degraded, this fueled even more non-funded spending. In an effort to reduce this debt, certain property assets were sold to our married daughter, which caused a relationship divide between her and our married son.

We sought counseling for the first time since being married. I e-mailed you on Sunday afternoon, July 18; and received your return telephone call that evening. That encouraged me, because I felt that you were interested and willing to help us as soon as we could meet.

At our first meeting on July 19, you identified the attitudes and behaviors that were blocking any chance of us agreeing on anything. You helped us to understand why our conversations, especially those regarding our budget, would break down and abruptly end with feelings of anger and resentment. You reminded us how to speak to each other in a manner that respects our opinions; and focus on listening without interrupting. You linked us up with another Peacemaker Center team member, who provided us with a financial strategy that maximized our resources to pay down our debt. The Peacemaking for Families resource that you recommended has helped to motivate us in applying the attitude and behavior changes that you counseled us to work on.

We are encouraged to continue meeting because of the positive impact that your counsel is having in our marriage relationship.

Anonymous

Note from the therapist: This couple continues to do well on their own. They have chosen to be obedient to God and He is blessing their marriage. You may contact them through this web site if you have any questions or they can be of help to you.